Words heard too soon

You plan for some things.

You think about car wrecks, and you wear your seat belt.

You worry about stairs, so you put the baby gate up.

You stay away from such things as bungee jumping, sky diving, and motor cross.

We plan and we worry and we try to prepare.

And still it's usually the things that happen on any idle day that knock us to our knees.

Last Friday, my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Cancer, oddly enough, is not usually a word I am automatically scared of. We have so many good treatments; I've seen too many people come through. But this type is different. If you need to read more about it, go here. We (the medical community) feel like a complete failure when it comes to this disease.

But in the midst of the shock and the tears and the worry and the words heard 30 years too soon ("You don't have very long..."), lots of gifts and things to be thankful for have come forth. And that's what I'm holding on to right now.

86. a thoughtful father who had my husband tell me so I would have someone to hold me when I found out

87. a family that takes care of each other

88. finding cheap tickets on a next-day flight

89. a uncle who visits two days in a row

90. numerous phone calls, cards, and emails

91. Johnny Markham's office

92. hugs

93. late night conversations

94. hearing my mom say "I'm not buying skim milk anymore."

95. a teenage brother who wants to help

96. finding out at least 10 churches and prayer groups prayed for us 2 days post-diagnosis

97. a fill-in preaching father-in-law

98. a quick replacement for my mom's teaching position so she can be free

99. flowers

100. realizing just how far our circle of friends extends

101. far-off relatives who decide to stop by

102. a Jennifer Allen hug

103. having all the family together

104. four-part a capella harmony

105. a minister who's been through this to support my dad

106. understanding professors

107. a friend who will get up at 3:30am to take us to the airport so my exhausted dad doesn't have to

108. coming home to a warm pot roast from the Schulz's

109. looking for waffles the next morning and finding a freezer full of good stuff from my sneaky friends

110. candles

111. my ever-loving, ever-supportive husband who completely lights up my life

112. hope of a better world where this is no cancer

113. pictures

114. land where you can see the stars

115. Cracker Barrel apple crisp with ice cream

116. the comfort of Sunset Restaurant

117. a tiny cousin on a scooter who knows the difference between a tractor and a backhoe

118. four hour naps

119. my Jesus

120. my mom

In Thankfulness of Fall

71. the turning of the leaves
72. my ever-so-perfect long, blue fleece robe

73. the warmth of a hot shower

74. a closetful of blankets

75. hot tea

76. brilliant colors the sunrise casts on the fog

77. snuggling under covers
78. casseroles
79. homemade zuccini bread

80. pumpkins

81. Sunday afternoon lunch at the in-laws

82. visiting friends from TN

83. squishing on the couch with my girlfriends

84. installed insulation

85. sweatshirts

Thankfulness

56. warm, homecooked breakfast with Bob
57. a whole weekend off together
58. news of a pending new niece or nephew
59. new life for a church sister through liver transplantation
60. Sunday afternoon lunch with the in-laws
61. apple crisp with ice cream
62. a little boy in Honduras staring back from a cardboard picture frame
63. late evening walks hand in hand
64. meeting friends unexpectedly on such walks
65. Sunday school kids belting out songs with all their heart
66. a new computer
67. a morning rain on parched earth
68. calls from cross-country friends
69. being a nurse that the "difficult family" likes
70. being just a little bit ahead (maybe just caught up) in school

on my way to 1000 gifts

46. a gifted diagnostician for a preceptor
47. Pandora on the Blackberry at the gym
48. low-lying fog covering the tops of corn stalks on my Austin drive
49. audio books for my 1.5 hour roundtrip commute to clinical
50. the Blanshan invasion of Valleyfair
51. an infant niece falling asleep on my chest
52. the two laidback professors I serve for my grad assist position
53. two friends who find their life-partner in each other
54. the chance to stand up for them at their wedding and beyond
55. fields of peaceful, mystical windmills as far as the eye can see

Ok, just a few more for today

26. Singing in the car with Polly, Peggy, and Bob
27. playing a song on the piano and singing loudly when I'm by myself
28. my salt and pepper grinders
29. An employer who pays for grad school
30. Friends who call me for favors
31. Plants that perk up when you open the blinds
32. Dishwashers
33. Red juicy tomatoes in the backyard
34. the farmers' market on Saturday mornings
35. the funny lady who plays the accordion at the farmers' market
36. decent health insurance
37. finding I can throw a pizza in the oven when I first turn it on and it will be done by the time the oven warms up
38. best friends who live 30 yards away
39. the hymn "Be Still My Soul"
40. Singing Fridays in chapel at Harding
41. the chance to hold a dying man's hand
42. the chance to hold a mom while her first child neared death
43. Kutzky Park volleyball court
44. Little friends who run to greet me every Wednesday night
45. Pryor 109

Give Thanks

I love lists. I usually have at least one hanging around. Today I saw this idea: making a list of 1,000 things you are thankful for.



That's an awful big number. It could take me a while. But I think it may be a fun and rewarding way to combat the pressure that is going to come...and last....for the next few months. So here goes nothing. Over the next little bit I'll be counting out my blessings one by one-until I hit 1,000. Steal the graphic and join me!

1. I have been saved from my sin by the grace of the Lord!
2. I am surrounded by friends who constantly challenge and encourage me (i.e. "The Community")
3. I had a healthy childhood
4. Patients who come back to visit the ICU--healthy
5. I have never had to struggle with a chemical addiction
6. Parents who have been married 31 (I think?) years this week
7. Growing up under the influence of Johnny Markham
8. Walking home on my lunch break to see my husband
9. An 8-minute walking commute to work
10. A job that lets me make a difference in lives of children
11. Being able to buy my cute old house
12. Having a husband who is handy at fixing things
13. PB&J
14. Burt's Bees Chapstick
15. Becoming friends with Jennifer Allen
16. Ice cream
17. my Bible(s)
18. a husband who studies Biblical principles in his spare time
19. the engraving on my wedding band
20. the current Honda
21. Harriet the Hatchback Honda
22. mornings
23. a good cup of coffee
24. my rockin' thesis partners-Jenn & Kristina
25. children laughing

:-)