Words heard too soon

You plan for some things.

You think about car wrecks, and you wear your seat belt.

You worry about stairs, so you put the baby gate up.

You stay away from such things as bungee jumping, sky diving, and motor cross.

We plan and we worry and we try to prepare.

And still it's usually the things that happen on any idle day that knock us to our knees.

Last Friday, my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Cancer, oddly enough, is not usually a word I am automatically scared of. We have so many good treatments; I've seen too many people come through. But this type is different. If you need to read more about it, go here. We (the medical community) feel like a complete failure when it comes to this disease.

But in the midst of the shock and the tears and the worry and the words heard 30 years too soon ("You don't have very long..."), lots of gifts and things to be thankful for have come forth. And that's what I'm holding on to right now.

86. a thoughtful father who had my husband tell me so I would have someone to hold me when I found out

87. a family that takes care of each other

88. finding cheap tickets on a next-day flight

89. a uncle who visits two days in a row

90. numerous phone calls, cards, and emails

91. Johnny Markham's office

92. hugs

93. late night conversations

94. hearing my mom say "I'm not buying skim milk anymore."

95. a teenage brother who wants to help

96. finding out at least 10 churches and prayer groups prayed for us 2 days post-diagnosis

97. a fill-in preaching father-in-law

98. a quick replacement for my mom's teaching position so she can be free

99. flowers

100. realizing just how far our circle of friends extends

101. far-off relatives who decide to stop by

102. a Jennifer Allen hug

103. having all the family together

104. four-part a capella harmony

105. a minister who's been through this to support my dad

106. understanding professors

107. a friend who will get up at 3:30am to take us to the airport so my exhausted dad doesn't have to

108. coming home to a warm pot roast from the Schulz's

109. looking for waffles the next morning and finding a freezer full of good stuff from my sneaky friends

110. candles

111. my ever-loving, ever-supportive husband who completely lights up my life

112. hope of a better world where this is no cancer

113. pictures

114. land where you can see the stars

115. Cracker Barrel apple crisp with ice cream

116. the comfort of Sunset Restaurant

117. a tiny cousin on a scooter who knows the difference between a tractor and a backhoe

118. four hour naps

119. my Jesus

120. my mom