A Silly, Serious Poem

I’m tired of being a yo-yo.
Will I ever come down to rest?
My life is filled with motion, yes, I even crave it.
Can’t I be like a knick-knack that sits on a bookshelf?
Maybe a joyful little figurine, complete with peaceful face and relaxed pose?
But no, up and down I go, a ball of twisting, spinning string
Switching directions with the twist of an unseen wrist
Emotions gliding every which way
Yet if the turmoil ever stops and the tension is released
The whole thing comes undone.

I feel like a yo-yo.
One minute I am revolving beautifully, smoothly
Living the life I want to, feeling fulfilled, gratified, loved.
The next minute, I am a tangled mess of passions
Despair, loneliness, confusion, doubt, regret.
There is no predictable moment when these will arise,
No law of physics to tell when the string will get jumbled,
When my life knots upon itself and the fun ends.

So here I go, twisting and turning, up and down,
Never knowing when
Or if
This will stop.

What Not To Paint- A Call for Help

Scheduled Workdays: Wednesday July 23rd and 24th, starting at 10am both days

Help me update my newly purchased house! I recently bought an older house with lots of character, but it also came with some very, um, interesting design and neglected upkeep that have to be addressed. There is a ton of work that needs to be done, and I would appreciate any and all help.

I will keep good tunes, tasty food, cold lemonade, and fun company flowing. We'll start by 10am on Wednesday and go until 7pm when community meal happens that a lot of us go to. On Thursday, we'll start at 10am again and go until we run out of things to do or I don't have any friends left. :-) Come and go as you please.

All predictable supplies will be provided, but bring any unique tools you have that we may need. The agenda will include stripping wallpaper, painting, trim work, ripping up carpet, yard work, washing siding, and whatever else we uncover!

An Important Day

Recently I learned that when one of my good friends is talking to other people and refers to me, he calls me "Sarah Dill-his grown-up friend." I'm not quite sure why he labels me that way, but today, I think I did take a step forward towards adulthood. Today I became a homeowner for the first time.

After a good bit of deliberation and fickleness, I decided to buy this cute, 1930s home here in Rochester. It is 3 blocks from work, which solves the never-ending saga of parking at Mayo for me. It is small enough to be cozy, but big enough for several people to live there and lots of room to host others. I can't tell you how excited I am to have a place to welcome others. It's got a big back yard with an old shade tree. There are lots of built-ins and character accents which just add to the charm. The upstairs is a loft bedroom with a built-in office with desk and bookshelves. And today when I investigated under the carpet that covers the two bedrooms downstairs, the living room, and the hall, I discovered beautiful hardwood floors in really good shape.

This house is no Southern Living Home of the Year quite yet--it is going to take a lot of work. So, I'm putting on my Martha Stewart hat and learning the ins-and-outs of home improvement. Here's a sneak preview of some of the ugly wallpaper that just had to come down--

The whole house is going to be repainted to get rid of the disturbing pastel pinks and purples, the floors redone, and various other updates and improvements are battling it out in my head for who goes first. So this is a shameless call for help, advice, manpower, tools, etc. I promise a steady stream of music, lemonade, and good company if you should choose to help out with the cause.

Other than the hardwood floors, I also had another surprise. Apparently the guy who owned it before me forgot to tell his renters that he was selling the house right now. They didn't know till yesterday. So....I have renters for a week or two while they scramble for another place to live.
It's always an adventure.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings....

I'm at work right now, basically watching a kid sleep. It is 4 o'clock in the morning. And I feel like being contemplatively optimistic. So here goes a list of a few of my favorite things...

Rochester's farmer's market, fruit, chocolate, a combo of the last two items, infants, giggling, stretching, going barefoot, t-shirts, being called princess, cute old men, homemade ice cream, being on a farm, creating something artsy, dangley earrings, pearls.

Having friends call me for advice, reading insightful stories, black and white photos, peanut butter and banana sandwiches, road trips, my job, singing, being commended, finding the best hole-in-a-wall in a small town, making a definitive decision, being genuinely happy for someone instead of being jealous, going for a run and being surprised when the time goes fast, consignment stores, potlucks, Georgia Mud Fudge Blizzards from Dairy Queen.

Being capable, having a child decide they want to be my friend, visiting former patients who graduated from intensive care, being comforting and collected in crisis situations, taking communion, earthy things, stone walls, lotion, sleeping in sunlight, simple solutions that change people's lives.

Serious conversations, real mail, finding the perfect word, autumn, linen clothing, crossing state lines, knowing I don't have to worry, organizing, fixing problems, folk music, a good cup of coffee, hugs, journals, being productive, window seats, brainstorming ideas annoyingly when people tell me they have nothing to do, exciting moments at work, and quiet moments at work.

And that's just a few. Works every time.

Be Jealous.

Last weekend I was in Arkansas; this weekend I was traipsing around Minnesota. Bob (my boyfriend, for the two of you in the world who don't know) and I set off Saturday afternoon to take advantage of a few days off and go visit some important people. We headed up to Madelia to see his delightful grandparents (the elder Bob and June Blanshan) and neighboring Aunt Barbara and husband Paul. We caught the tail end of a graduation party for Paul and Barbara's foreign exchange student, but really just enjoyed good time visiting family.

After staying the night with Bob's grandparents, we got up quite early to make the trek up to Baxter, where Bob had been invited to preach this Sunday due to their preacher's absence. He did a great job getting everyone fired up about the joy of our salvation, then we had the all-hallowed potluck fellowship dinner. It was so good to meet all of those people I had heard about so much and to see where Bob had spent two years of his life ministering.

We had plans to go to Bemidji from there for Sunday night service, but found ourselves with a few hours to spare. So we decided to take a little detour not far off the original path and make a visit to Itasca State Park, home of the headwaters of the Mississippi. To make it even better, it was a free day at the park! I can now say I've seen the Mississippi at its beginning and end, with several places in between.

We enjoyed our time there, minus the mosquitoes that seemed to like me better than him. Minnesota is such a beautiful state. Cute little towns with cute little churches and cute little shops are around every corner. The only place you'll say the word 'cute' more is at a baby shower. The scenery is at times breathtakingly beautiful, especially up north where the roads get curvier to go around all the lakes, and especially during the summer.

After leaving Itasca, we headed towards Bemidji to visit Bob's best friend and his family and the church there. We incidentally met up with another aunt, Suzanne, who happened to be in the area. After dinner with some church members (thanks again, Luke), we went to the Williams' house for a brief time of fellowship before bed. After breakfast, we were southbound back to Rochester.

So the consensus is in that we are pretty much a really cute couple. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather explore Minnesota with. Be very jealous.

Why did you go to.....Arkansas?!?

Arkansas is a really odd place that I just can't seem to stay away from. I never thought that when I graduated from school there 2 years ago that I would have been back so many (i.e. 3) times. But Arkansas seems to hold and attract too many of the people that I hold dear. Note the picture of Pryor 109 (my former apartment) to your left.

After my northern-ized lungs recovered from the shock of unmeasurable humidity, the weekend consisted of a whole host of great things. I cannot tell you how important and significant it is to me to spend hours upon hours of just catching up with good friends. These are real people, the ones who remind me who I am and what I am all about. These are the kind of people who let you raid their fridge and love doing nothing but sitting on the couch and talking about everything under the sun. For days on end. Jennifer, Jordan, Nathan, Robert, and Teague were the main attractions on Friday.

Saturday morning was occupied by talking with Jennifer. Saturday also included a graduation party for Dave with his family and a birthday outing in downtown Little Rock for Jenel, attended by Jennifer, Emily, and Brandon. Sunday started with a passionate, wonderful worship service at Downtown Church. I adore that church. After a very needed 3+ hour nap and a few more hours of talking to Jennifer, we were blessed to join Pat Rice for dinner. She's pretty much a wonderful, spunky lady who knows and loves everyone, and she's always full of good advice. This visit I was actively seeking some out, and it was so valuable I came home and wrote some of it down. I hope when I'm older I take younger girls under my wing and try to pass on a few things I've learned along the way.

Monday included more time spent talking with Jennifer (notice the trend?) and a little time with Josh and Nathan before returning to the Little Rock airport. I said bye to Arkansas for now, but who knows when I will return again. I always feel like I find a little part of myself when I go back there.

Beauty

Beauty--that ever-alluring, much sought-after mystery. Our attempts at it are occasionally comical, sometimes damaging, and often in vain. What is beauty? What makes something beautiful? I think I'd have to argue that beauty is often an experience. Here are some beautiful experiences from my life the last several weeks, as a praise and thanks to the one God who gave them all to me:

-a two week old baby curled up on my shoulder
-a close knit family
-surprises
-picnics
-not setting the alarm clock
-jogging in the rain
-a child's laugh
-freshly plowed fields overlooked by silos and barns
-feeling pretty in sweatpants
-falling asleep on some one's shoulder
-75 degrees and sunny
-a lively courtyard scene filled with patients and families
-twirling joyfully on the bike path and not caring who's watching
-having a friend come to me in tears
-being called wise by a friend of whom I think the same
-flowers, scattered in fields and yards and sitting on my table
-taking work time to make scrapbook pages for hurting moms and their children
-a clean comical production
-conquering a tough hill without another soul in sight
-duets
-clean sheets
-holding hands
-friends who are distant in miles but somehow always close
-still feeling that ache to love people
-not having the words to express gratitude

And I'm only getting started.

High and Low Points of the Week

Low: I don't really have one. The best I can come up with from the last week is the feeling of waking up after 4 1/2 hours of sleep and a big 12 hour shift staring me in the face. I made it fine and did the same thing to myself again that night. I'll never learn.

High: Ummm....the whole week. :-) I have been one very distracted, giggly girl, spending every day this week with one incredible, godly guy. And the amazing part is, he thinks I'm pretty incredible too! Everyone else probably thinks I'm losing it, with me randomly smiling and giggling to myself, recounting events and/or sweet, memorable conversations. Life is funny. And I like it.

High and Low Points of the last 1 1/2 week

High: Wednesday night:
Campfire and s'mores with good friends and guitars. Come, summer, come.

Low: Sunday, all day
Feeling like a completely incompetent nurse. Orientation is a humbling experience. When I took the animal personality test with the entire Dept. of Nursing a few months ago, I was a strong owl. Owls like to be competent, efficient, visionary, and tend to be leaders and big idea people. Now I feel so incompetent it just eats away at me and any confidence I might have possessed before. And I'm having to be more beaver-ish (i.e. detail and list oriented) than I naturally am. I'm ready to just know what I'm doing without going through all this.

How do you learn to read?

I don't remember ever NOT being able to read. I have no clue how to help someone who doesn't know how to read learn this all-important skill. At Friendship Place tonight, I was trying to help a non-native English speaker girl with some reading words. I laughed a lot, at her attempts at words and my own inadequacy in helping her. Here's how much of the night went.

(The word is 'always')

Me: Ok, try this one.
Girl: Wise
Me: No, try again.
Girl: Laws
Me: Look closer.
Girl: Wise
Me: Nope.
Girl: Apple
Me: Look at the word, you're not even looking at the word!
Girl: Wise
Me: Nope, you tried that.
Girl: All
Me: Ooo! Close! Keep trying!
Girl: Wise
Me: Always. It is 'always.' (giggles) Good try though.

How do you teach someone to read??