A Non-Baby Related Post

For my birthday, Bob got me a really big present, or I got him a really big present for his birthday (as we're only two days apart) --A 2005 Hyundai Santa Fe.

Love it.  I can't tell you how nice it is to have space after living out of a small pick up truck for the last few months since the Honda died.  I went to the grocery this weekend, popped open the back, and piled two weeks worth of groceries in with no problem, no stacking, no holding-the-eggs-in-my-lap-on-the way-home craziness.  The best part: it only has 34,000 miles, so it should be good to go on many a trip.  I'm sure I will miss the rockin' gas mileage the Honda had, but after two months of car shopping, I think we found a good deal.  Ours is a slightly different color, but I've neglected to take a picture of it yet.

I am one blessed gal

Yesterday I was the fortunate recepient of one of the most fun baby showers that ever has been.

It was Dr. Seuss themed.  I love Dr. Seuss.

Guests got to sign the handmade guest book, guess how many inches around my belly is (37.5 if you're curious), and play a Dr. Seuss finish-that-line game.  Everyone had a great time, and most decided that they actually did like green eggs and ham.  Everyone got to decorate a white onesie using fabric markers, and there were some really cute results.  The afternoon was topped off by words of wisdom shared by Great-Grandma June Blanshan, with a few bonus tidbits of advice thrown in by other moms.

A few highlights from what Great-Grandma shared as she prepares to welcome her 23rd great-grandchild (whom she also blessed with a sweet quilt pictured below):
*Love your children.  Hug them.
*Don't compare your kids to someone else's, or to their own siblings.  Each is different and special.
*Sing to your children.
*Your children will react to things the way you do.
*Write things down: important days, funny things they say, etc.  You think  you will remember, but you won't as time goes 
   on.
*Teach them all about God-your most important job.

Babe-B racked up in the gift department.

Special thanks to the Blanshans: Linda, Jessica, Betsy, Carrie, Polly, and Peggy for making me feel so loved!
Thanks to everyone who came!

At 35 weeks I....

These pics in the link below are really from 34 weeks, but close enough!  These are the sneak peek images from our maternity photo session--better than anything I'm going to take myself!  And don't even think about making fun of my belly button.  :-)

Maternity Pictures

*think the pregnancy after 20 weeks has gone so fast...before 20 weeks seems forever ago.
*am gearing up for an all-day "get things ready" day tomorrow: wash baby clothes, organize nursery drawers and closet, pack a hospital bag, etc.
*am excited about my dad and sister coming after baby arrives
*have experienced killer reflux and really don't enjoy the taste of Tums
*think the baby *might* just succeed in poking a hole in my belly wall sometimes
*enjoy watching my entire torso contort and twist when it moves
*often have a little butt or head or heels or something right under my rib cage, making it hard to sit straight or breathe deeply
*am really looking forward to maternity leave
*had a comical experience trying to paint my toenails
*am so curious as to the gender
*have a least one person a day tell me they think it is a boy, very rarely do people think it is a girl
*can't sleep.  ever.
*can't wait to snuggle this little person

Art Project

I have always wanted to be a crafty, creative person.  Alas, I'm not, naturally, so I have to try really hard.  I wanted to do something special for the nursery, though, and this is what I came up with.  And I admit, I'm quite proud of how it turned out.  I haven't gotten it on the walls yet, but here's what I did, with the whole thing made mostly of fabric scraps....

*Painted a "sky" on three panels of canvas



*Added some grass and planted a tree

*Made a few animals and attached them with decoupage

*Added some details

*Decoupaged over the whole thing....

Now, to finish the furniture so I can decide where this project is going to hang....

(shamelessly inspired by Andrea and Betsy )

At 30 Weeks I.....

*have one more prenatal class to attend in the series, plus a breastfeeding and car seat class

*can't sleep well, between the baby moving fanatically and the inability to turn over easily

*finished an art project for the nursery walls (pictures to come)

*have made little to no progress on the knitted baby blanket

*have been busy knitting other things for my other pregnant friends

*am growing in confidence of my body's ability to give birth

*have a healthy level of anxiety about the whole process

*can't eat much at one time, leading me to be hungry very soon afterwards

*have to get a 3am snack on a regular basis

*enjoy playing with the little feet that make a frequent appearance on my belly wall

*am mulling over baby names

*feel the nesting began a long time ago

*enjoy the borrowed maternity wardrobe from the ever-generous Betsy

*wonder how the weeks have gone so fast

*like talking to the baby, wondering out-loud what it is doing, and what it is thinking about what it sees/feels/hears

At 25 weeks I...

*have really grown a lot in the last few weeks
*am surprised at how much and how forceful the baby moves at this age
*have a little back achy-ness
*have gained 15 pounds
*am putting together ideas for memory making and nursery decorations
*can eat with the best of them
*start prenatal classes this week
*wear the same 4-5 maternity shirts over...and over....again.
*have gotten too big for one pair of my materity jeans (oops!).  Thankfully I only paid $3.50 for them and still have two to choose from.
*have hot flashes multiple times a day...in the dead of winter....in Minnesota.
*have a gut feeling the baby is a boy, but really am not aching to find out what it is yet.
*think Bob is the cutest dad-to-be in the world and am looking forward to seeing a tiny bundle in his long arms.

2010, bulleted

 In 2010, I.....

*became closer in age to 30 than 20
*finished my master's degree
*passed my certification exam
*became a family nurse practitioner
*took a new job in general surgery
*went to TN a lot
*started couponing
*celebrated our first anniversary
*planted a garden
*went to D.C. to see old friends
*became pregnant
*threw up more times than I ever thought possible
*felt a baby (!) move inside for the first time
*chopped my hair off
*camped in sub-freezing temperatures
*watched my mom die
*enjoyed having "free time" and predictability for one of the few times in my life

2010 probably was calmer, overall, from 2009. 

2011 promises to be a new adventure, a turning point.  I'm ready.  Here's to the excitement of a new year.

For my momma

Three weeks you've been gone.

Bob and I flew in late on a Thursday. You were already in bed, but I went to wake you up anyway. Your breathing was different. Harder than it should be. I think I knew then, that your journey was soon to be done. I painted your toenails on Saturday. The bottom of your feet were blue. I know I knew then. I was supposed to leave on Sunday, but I couldn't. Time was short, and I wanted all of it I could get.

I wasn't shocked, really, at how much you'd declined in the two months since I'd been there- how weak you were, how you didn't interact much, because I'd heard. I had called most days, gotten the report from whoever was there. Some days you talked to me. Some days you didn't have the energy. Some days I think it just made you too sad, so you'd tell me to call some other time. It's ok. I understood.

Sometimes it makes me sad to talk about you. Like this morning, in Sunday school, when the leader asked for examples of a time when things had happened when we knew it was God working. I wanted to share, but my throat got tight and my eyes hot and I knew if I said a word the tears would flow.  I wanted to tell them of how the morning of your visitation I was lying awake at 3am and felt the baby move inside me for the first time. How I was so glad God had given me that gift on such a hard day. And I had wondered if you had met, you and the baby, and if you had had a part in that blessing.

I'm sad you won't get to be here to help bring up this child, or any that follow. That you won't make them smocked bonnets, quilts, dresses, or blankets, or anything else you were so skilled at making. I'm sad about a lot of things they are going to miss because you're gone. Some may have faulted me for not waiting, for getting pregnant knowing you were sick, knowing that you didn't have much time. At times I have briefly doubted my own judgement, but I don't now. You mourned the loss of being a grandmother even before I had a child in me, for there was little in this world you loved more than babies. Though it was terribly bittersweet, it gave us a chance to talk about things we didn't talk about before: pregnancy, delivery, children.
I know you loved the baby. I'll be sure to make sure it smells good, and I'll kiss it in all the right places, just like you told me to. And I'll brush its hair with the last gift you gave me, through garbled words and gestures, just days before you died, a Gorham baby comb and brush set.

I'm sorry the last days were so hard for you. I'm sorry I had to get out the wheelchair of Granddaddy's, bringing it down from the attic for you to use. But the pain and the weakness and the struggle to walk were too much for me to watch. I'm glad it allowed us to take you to the kitchen where you hadn't been for days, to the big window where you could sit in the sun and see the farm. I'm so glad for the morphine, the continuous drip of relief. We started that on Thursday night. You never said you were in pain again. I'm so glad we were able to keep you at home until the end.

Friday morning your breathing changed again. You were slipping away. We stayed up with you from then on; someone was always at your side. We talked to you, kissed your forehead, rubbed your hands.  I knit a blanket while you slept.  I told you to say hi to Jesus for me. I told you things I would tell my children about you. I took a turn in the middle of the night, already sleep-deprived; watching, waiting. I only lasted a few hours, then the sickness that had plagued me the whole pregnancy up to that point overtook me, and I had to sleep. I hated giving up time with you, but I had to, for the baby. Then I wondered how much you had missed for me, what you had sacrificed for me.

It seems odd that it has only been three weeks. The days since have ticked away like they always have, but a Saturday hasn't gone by yet when I haven't felt a twinge of sadness, a bittersweet acknowledgement of the fact that you died on a Saturday. At 4:17pm. I looked at the clock then, when we were all standing by your bed, all of us: your babies, and your husband. We were all there, our little crew, just like you liked it. Someone had to run and get me as your last breaths came quite suddenly after hours of struggling. I had layed down again to rest, tired from grief and retching and staying up half the night.

People keep telling me they are sorry I had to lose my mother at such a young age. And I suppose I am young by most standards, but so were you. But I'm grateful that you were able to raise your own children to adulthood, that we all turned out mostly ok, that you were able to teach 30 years worth of students, that you were married over 30 years to the same man. Maybe the years weren't that many, but you filled them with many great things. A tribute article about you made the front page of the paper. Over 1,000 people came to your visitation and funeral. You were loved.


 I'm going to miss you. I love you.

At 19 weeks I.....

*am fascinated with the baby moving
*found 2 pairs of maternity jeans, for $3.50 and $8 respectively
*am good friends with food again
*only feel sick when I don't sleep enough
*rarely nap anymore
*am making decent progress on a knitting project
*make a few consignment purchases for the nursery
*don't tolerate standing in hot patient rooms very long
*am "warm-blooded" for the first time in my life
*am totally in love with this person inside me

At 13 Weeks I....

* am starting to have the tiniest of a baby bump
* am finding my jeans to fit a little tight
* am really glad I wear comfy hospital provided scrubs to work
* am having some improvement in the nausea
* am still throwing up most days
* have now had the experience of throwing up (in a bowl) while driving
* have had to take a knee twice at work to keep from passing out, and promptly was rescued by sweet nurses with orange 
    juice
* have been able to eat almost normally
* think water has a whole new taste and it is amazing
* have an extreme urge to successfully knit something
* need naps a few times a week
* don't really think of the baby as a boy or a girl yet
* like watching Bob interact with kids and imagine him as a dad
* think it is hilarious when Bob says, "How are you two today?" or "Come on, you two."
* miss coffee, now that the smell isn't revolting to me anymore
* rarely make it through the night without a bathroom run
* have nicknamed the baby "Wiggly"
* am having a blast knowing there's a person growing in me, despite all the inconveniences