To the Frimily

To those soulmates scattered near and far:

I've written and erased this opening sentence probably a dozen times. I started naming some of you but kept thinking of more to add to the list. I don't know how to express how grateful I am for people like you--people I can dream with, laugh and cry with, love with. Though months may pass between the times we speak, there exists a sweet, sweet bond that is not easily broken. Thank you for having hearts soft enough to hear both God's shouts and whispers. Thanks for caring passionately about people. Thanks for challenging me and encouraging me. Thanks for sticking through the insecure and indecisive times. I'm excited and sobered by what tomorrow brings. I know you'll be there in spirit no matter what. And I praise God for all of you.

Sometimes when I read books or hear about events or witness awful things occur, I get kind of discouraged. Like tonight, when speaking with a new friend from Ethiopia pleading for attention for the genocide occurring in his country. Like last night at work, with the woman with obvious signs of physical neglect whose stories just don't add up. Like this morning when I'm reading a book that talks a lot about materialism, community, and how far the normal philosphopies of Christianity are from what Jesus actually talked about. Like today, when I'm packing up my apartment and embarrased that I have so much stuff when there are others who have so little.

Discourage: "to deprive of courage, hope, or confidence; dishearten; dispirit." (dictionary.com)

Then I came across this quote tonight: “Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”

Take courage, my friends. Make some changes, keep a little esperanza in your soul, and keep trying.

It took 'em a year, but they finally came

So this week, my family came all the way from Tennessee to come see me. That is, minus my sister, who was working and being a bridesmaid for a friend. We went "Up North"--what Minnesotans call the North Shore of Lake Superior, the largest lake in the world. Here are some highlight photos.


This is Gooseberry Falls, a really wonderful state park.

This is Split Rock Lighthouse.

A barge on Lake Superior in the chilly early morning

Superior from a distance at Gooseberry.

Check out facebook for lots more. The week also included a lot of corn fields, elk farms, a lot of driving, a huge park in St. Paul, the Farmer's Market, a nature center, wild blackberries, and a tour of Mayo. I believe a good time was had by all. My new goal is to get them here in winter.

Ramblings

Geez louise, life has been busy lately. I'm going to sum up the last month or so just to give an update, but these blogs end up sounding so self-centered that I'm going to try to make it quick.

I went to a Caedmon's Call concert, one of my favorite bands. I had planned on meeting people there, but they were going to be late There were these people on our row saving 4 seats, and everybody and their brother asked us if they were taken. We weren't saving them, so we deferred the question. There were very few seats left in that church that seats about 2000 other than those four in our row. Lo and behold, right at the beginning of the concert, our friends walk in, greet the people saving the seats, and sit down next to us. We were all looking for the same people. What are the chances?

That's a question I've asked quite a bit lately. What are the chances? I'm in a 6-week bio- statistics course, and it's taken about 80% of my spare time. We're nearing the end and I am grateful for that. I just am not a math person, though I think I'm holding my own in this course. Just trust me when I say that most stats that you hear or read are trash. I'll be grateful for July and the beginning of August when I won't be in school AT ALL.

Speaking of July, it is going to be one wild ride! I'll be in Honduras with the College Hills youth group for a week, and spend a split-week in Lebanon on either side of that. I'm working almost every day I'm in Rochester, and sometime in there I'm going to pack and move into a different apartment. My current roommate Amy is leaving me. Sadness. I'm not going to think about it now, other than to cherish the few days we have left together.

I started working with a nursing intern at Mayo last week. She's doing the same internship I did two years ago. TWO YEARS AGO?! Madness. I'm so pumped about working with her. SO much fun to have someone to work with, to teach, to become friends with. We'll be working side by side all summer.

Backing up to May, I went to Searcy for a week. I am blessed beyond belief to have so many good friends. Not just acquaintances, but life-friends. Not just one or two, but many. I say this just to give God praise for letting me associate with such wonderful people. I love my friends. I also love my professors. One of them told me she prays for me by name every day. She said she had a little list of special people who had stuck out to her over the years. I was on that list. The honor of that act and the sincerity of her commitment to prayer brought tears to my eyes.

Flipping back to Rochester, I've become seriously attached to my small group here in Rochester. We meet every two weeks, and I just love it. Amy and I are the youngest people by a good 15 years, but they treat us like complete equals. I'm so sad when I can't be there.

I've also become quite attached to my church. After many difficult months of searching, I've found a home. Though most of Harding would just DIE if they ever came to this church of Christ, I love it. Definitely took some minor adjustments on my part, but I'm so grateful for the challenge, acceptance, growth, and excitement about God that I've found there. Hallelujah.

My family is coming to visit in two weeks. The North country calls us, I believe. However, reservations of any kind (other than plane tickets) are still lacking.

I went to Dallas last weekend and met with the Rwanda team. That's a whole separate entry in itself. Maybe tomorrow.

Yay for MN summers! I am relishing in the wonderfulness of this place every day. The sun rises at 5am, sets after 9pm, and southern heat and humidity is far, far away. Everything is green, the lakes are clear, and the bike paths beckon. A couple of friends and I conquered a 25-mile stretch of bike path yesterday.

So this turned out to be pretty self-centered anyway. My apologies.

I stole this idea

What's on my desk:
-Admission packet to grad school
-APA manual
-a Mother Teresa biography
-random alcohol swabs
-my paper on preventing medical errors

What's in my fridge
-frozen fruit for smoothies
-peanut satay sauce
-salsa
-chick peas

What's on my floor
-my running shoes
-dirty and clean clothes
-scarves I made for an orphanage

What's on my mind
-going to see the frimily (i.e. friends who've become like family) in Searcy
-my upcoming trips to Dallas and Honduras
-my family's trip to come see me
-Rwanda and the Rwanda 08 team
-joining a committee at work and if I want to transfer units to get a different experience
-finishing my papers on medical errors and dehydration/cholera
-finding a new apartment for when Amy leaves

Today

Today I hit a chipmunk.....with my bike. Let me paint the picture for you.

I was cruising on my bike for the second time this season. It could not have been a more gorgeous day--70 degrees, sunny, a few white puffy clouds in the sky. I'm riding on a bike path parallel to a road, soaking up the beautifulness. Then, I notice this chipmunk start to run across the street, in front of traffic. I think, "Oh, no! I'm about to watch this little guy get hit! I might get splattered!"

But alas, the chipmunk makes it safely across after skillfully dodging through menacing tires from the passing cars. In his haste to get away from danger, the frantic little chipmunk kept running. Unfortunately, despite my swerving into the grass, he ran right into my wheel. The chipmunk went airborne, almost brushing my ear. I screamed. Screamed like a little girl.

I scream even when I hit small animals in my car, where I have no chance of bodily coming into contact it the injured animal. You should have heard me on my bike.

The chipmunk landed back on the same side where he went flying, then scurried across to the other side of the path. I guess he'll make it. I almost didn't.

After I finished screaming my signature high-pitched scream, I thought about how funny that must have looked to passersby. It is spring in Minnesota-EVERYONE is on the sidewalks. So I laughed at myself. Laughed like a schizophrenic who just opened a new 64-pack of crayons.
I bet that was pretty funny looking too.

Later, I was dive-bombed by two crows. I don't know what the animal kingdom has against me today. Be careful out there, folks.

How time flies...

So I'm not the world's best blogger. To serve as a recap of fun things from the last month....

I went dancing with friends....



...earned a few bruises attempting skiing for the first time.....







....gained a new cousin (Ann)....







....had two wonderful birthday parties....



....and worked a 16-hour shift.




That's all that's documented by pictures. Everyone likes pictures better than words, right?

Winter Wonderland

Ok, I know I complain about being SO TIRED of people asking me about the weather. But it is kind of cool, and I wanted to share these pictures. I've enjoyed having a real winter. But I enjoy my springs and summers just as much!

Let's be honest here

I'll be honest. I haven't had the world's best attitude about work lately. It was bound to happen. I haven't been thinking evil thoughts or wishing death upon my patients, but I can't say I've been real happy about going to work. People are....(sigh)....inconsiderate, rude, mean, ungrateful, needy. Don't get me wrong--I like being needed--most nurses do. We thrive helping people.

So what's the deal? I want to help people, but there's a limit to my help?? That doesn't make much sense-as a nurse or a Christian who proclaims to love people and be a servant. Bingo. There's my problem.

While eating lunch with a friend the other day, I shared some of my recent sentiments regarding work. This was after I told her I wanted to move to Africa to be a missionary. (Yes, you can go ahead and smirk at my inconsistencies.) She shared a real pearl with me. She said, "You know, love is painful." And it hit me.

Love is painful. Yes, that is right. It fits right in there with "love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs..... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1Corinthians 13:4-8)

If I am truly going to love people-be they friend or enemy-it is going to be painful. If I love and expect nothing in return, it is going to hurt. I am called to love, to pour out all that I am until I have no more and expect to never be filled back up again by the words or actions of humans.....
So bring on the pain.

I have a lot to learn. Lord, teach me to love.

For those of you who wondered....

This is what I've been up to lately.....

Being amazed at coldness









Watching a best friend
get married









Helping the sister move









Hanging with the Honduran interns







That's all I've got pictures of. More stuff: surprising the family with a visit, hanging out with friends, going to church, repairing my car, starting classes, cooking, and working. But mostly praying and researching about some future opportunities and decisions. That's life in a nutshell for me.

Some things I've learned recently:
-how to knit
-people in handcuffs can still spit on you
-friends can offer priceless words of encoouragement
-friends can also offer priceless words of wisdom
-what a -30 degree windchill feels like
-that I'm pretty well acclimated to MN
-just because it's not your fault doesn't mean you don't get yelled at
-I really do like kids
-I don't really want to work in an American hospital much longer
-I've got a lot to learn about loving people (see next blog)