Thursday, October 22, 2009

Words heard too soon

You plan for some things.

You think about car wrecks, and you wear your seat belt.
You worry about stairs, so you put the baby gate up.
You stay away from such things as bungee jumping, sky diving, and motor cross.

We plan and we worry and we try to prepare.

And still it's usually the things that happen on any idle day that knock us to our knees.

Last Friday, my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Cancer, oddly enough, is not usually a word I am automatically scared of. We have so many good treatments; I've seen too many people come through. But this type is different. If you need to read more about it, go here. We (the medical community) feel like a complete failure when it comes to this disease.

But in the midst of the shock and the tears and the worry and the words heard 30 years too soon ("You don't have very long..."), lots of gifts and things to be thankful for have come forth. And that's what I'm holding on to right now.

86. a thoughtful father who had my husband tell me so I would have someone to hold me when I found out
87. a family that takes care of each other
88. finding cheap tickets on a next-day flight
89. a uncle who visits two days in a row
90. numerous phone calls, cards, and emails
91. Johnny Markham's office
92. hugs
93. late night conversations
94. hearing my mom say "I'm not buying skim milk anymore."
95. a teenage brother who wants to help
96. finding out at least 10 churches and prayer groups prayed for us 2 days post-diagnosis
97. a fill-in preaching father-in-law
98. a quick replacement for my mom's teaching position so she can be free
99. flowers
100. realizing just how far our circle of friends extends
101. far-off relatives who decide to stop by
102. a Jennifer Allen hug
103. having all the family together
104. four-part a capella harmony
105. a minister who's been through this to support my dad
106. understanding professors
107. a friend who will get up at 3:30am to take us to the airport so my exhausted dad doesn't have to
108. coming home to a warm pot roast from the Schulz's
109. looking for waffles the next morning and finding a freezer full of good stuff from my sneaky friends
110. candles
111. my ever-loving, ever-supportive husband who completely lights up my life
112. hope of a better world where this is no cancer
113. pictures
114. land where you can see the stars
115. Cracker Barrel apple crisp with ice cream
116. the comfort of Sunset Restaurant
117. a tiny cousin on a scooter who knows the difference between a tractor and a backhoe
118. four hour naps
119. my Jesus
120. my mom


kentbrantly said...

My Sweet Friend,
My eyes fill with tears for you and my heart lifts a prayer to our common Father for you and your family and your mom. I will continue to pray.
Grace and Peace and Mercy to you,
kent <><

Abbi said...

We heard on Sunday about it and prayed. We will continue to pray.
I am so sorry and I am glad you got to go out there!

Thomas said...

thank you so much for sharing, we'll be lifting you guys up.
I walked in on a friend at work tonight who was cryin her eyes out because she might lose her mom to cancer very soon. Makes one feel extremely helpless.
Much love from the Ritchie family,
Thomas and Sara

lindsay said...

My heart breaks for you and your family. Definitely praying and will continue to pray for you all.

Emily said...

Sara, So sorry to hear about it....we heard at church....hope all is well and we are praying for you all.
Take care,

martha said...

Oh I am so sorry. We will pray for strength for all of you.

Ang said...

I am sorry to hear about that. We will be praying for you and your family. Love Terry and Angie

Jennifer said...

Thank you for sharing/writing so well.

Love you.

Mandy said...

Your family has such an amazing, extending circle of friends because y'all are that kind of friend to everyone else. You and your family are in the prayers of many. Much love to you.

Brittany Bankhead-Kendall said...

There are no words to express my hurt and yet anger for you. Brian and I will pray for your family and your mom. Lots of love to your family...