Signs by Andrea

3 cheers for entrepreneurship!

Head over to http://www.andreasteed.com/signs to check out a new business started by my friend Andrea Steed.

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Demoralization

Earlier this year, I completed the Beth Moore Bible study "Believing God." I was too cheap to buy the accompanying video at the time. I thought the study was great without it. But when my friends decided to buy access to the 9-week series online, I chipped in a few bucks and started backtracking through the videos.

She's quite hilarious. Her content is as serious as it gets, but her presentation is just something else. She, with her big hair and her thick Arkansan accent and almost constant outburts of "Glory!" or "Halleluah!" draws me back to past years spent in the thick Tennessean and Arkansan humidity. But she knows her stuff, and she's excellent at making the Word of God come alive and at presenting new dimensions I definitely would have missed.

In the video I watched the other day, she pulled out a concept that hit me right between the eyes. It may not have hit you, had you seen it, but this is my struggle and it's what spoke to me that day.

Demoralization-when Satan figures out who we fear most that we are. And he sets out to confirm it.

What do you fear you are most?

For me, it is incompetence. I hate it. I fear it. I fear I am not good enough. I fear I can't compare to so-and-so. I fear I might fail.

And he uses it, that angel-turned-liar. He convinces me I will try and not succeed, of course I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, tough enough, etc. And I usually crumble, paralyzed in my fear of imagined reality.

But in the video the other day, Beth was saying how she was afraid she'd fail God. She'd try and fail. And then it hit her: that all-encompasing strength that renews broken spirits and heals past wounds and gives gifts to the ungifted.

God will not fail you.

That's right. Of course. What was I thinking?

And I peel myself up once again, trusting in One who is and will always be enough.

Thankfulness

56. warm, homecooked breakfast with Bob
57. a whole weekend off together
58. news of a pending new niece or nephew
59. new life for a church sister through liver transplantation
60. Sunday afternoon lunch with the in-laws
61. apple crisp with ice cream
62. a little boy in Honduras staring back from a cardboard picture frame
63. late evening walks hand in hand
64. meeting friends unexpectedly on such walks
65. Sunday school kids belting out songs with all their heart
66. a new computer
67. a morning rain on parched earth
68. calls from cross-country friends
69. being a nurse that the "difficult family" likes
70. being just a little bit ahead (maybe just caught up) in school

Love

Congratulations, John and Emily!

on my way to 1000 gifts

46. a gifted diagnostician for a preceptor
47. Pandora on the Blackberry at the gym
48. low-lying fog covering the tops of corn stalks on my Austin drive
49. audio books for my 1.5 hour roundtrip commute to clinical
50. the Blanshan invasion of Valleyfair
51. an infant niece falling asleep on my chest
52. the two laidback professors I serve for my grad assist position
53. two friends who find their life-partner in each other
54. the chance to stand up for them at their wedding and beyond
55. fields of peaceful, mystical windmills as far as the eye can see